Praying in His Victory over Their Lives

October 1, 2012

Dear Papa,

So many good conversations this weekend; I’m not sure I can capture them all or do them justice at that. So here are some thoughts I need to further process and write about…

I am so lucky (in Jesus) to have the life I have- that I didn’t have to sort through some horrific mess or abandonment or abuse or neglect in my life. Yet out of my “luckiness” it would be foolish and a complete miss to not care for the orphan or person who is confined or presently defined by those situations. How much harder is it to believe Jesus in the midst of so much pain? Those sweet ones have so much to sort through and there is total warring over their life. The battle is not one that can be seen, but rather a major spiritual battle is being waged over their life. As much as Jesus is fighting for them, Satan is as well. The kids we meet are in such a place of brokenness and come from such terrible backgrounds… for them to find God is a total miracle of Jesus. We have nothing to offer the kids, literally nothing. Their turning point or choice to choose Jesus for their lives can only be attributed to a complete miracle of Jesus.

Side note for clarification…I have not had nor lived a “perfect” life, and I don’t see myself as any better than the beautiful ones I speak of. I was simply reflecting this week on present miracles of Jesus and Jesus in the midst of heartache. As I wrestle with the cruelties of  life His sweet ones have endured and find myself angry at those who left them in such places, I lean into the Truth of who this King of kings is and remember that He is always victorious! Let's pray it in!

Let me be Your light,

your little girl

Would you like Fries with all that Ketchup?

September 26, 2012

Oh Jesus,

The funniest thing happened yesterday. Well, funny now that it is past I should say…

From the time my students left their houses after lunch and showed up at school (a 20-30 second dash for them) they were COVERED in ketchup! My first thought was "What happened, are you ok?" (I only noticed one student covered in "blood") then I kept thinking "What is that smell?" As I looked around, I realized not one, but rather, all five were covered in "blood" and there was more to this story...

They do some of the grossest things in general (eat their boogers, bite the scabs off their knees, dig through any trash can to find, well, anything) but ketchup, really?!? And from where? I have no idea. I just sent them home for new clothes so we could start over. J

I tried all day to think how this relates to us (grown kids) and Jesus, what lesson You might have for me in this ketchup extravaganza… and all I got was that You, Jesus, love us anyway and You laugh at all the crazy things we do and go through. We do some pretty gross things too and You love us anyway.

And truth is, sometimes you probably wish our gross things were just being covered in ketchup or eating our own boogers!

How is that for an entry?! Sorry Jesus ;) 

Love,

-your peanut

La Cucaracha

I'm going to post some older journal entries to catch you (and me) up to speed. 

I laughed when I re-read this journal entry... Now I'm used to the gigante (he-gan-te) bugs around here... not so much that I want to see any in my house, let's be clear Jesus... but they pale in comparison to the real "bugs" in life- broken relationships, loneliness, unanswered questions, heartache, loss, feeling or being unwanted- all stories of beautiful children and teens I have met here. So this entry feels lame knowing what I now know, but it's part of my journey and what Jesus used to bring bigger perspective....

September 25, 2012

Dear Jesus,
I finally start to sleep ok here and then I get another bug! Ay yi yi! PLEASE no more. YES, that is girly, whiney, and in the scheme of life's problems, a ridiculous request and not a big deal, but for this God girl it is. And I'm begging in the name of Jesus that you kill them all. Amen.
Love,
your little one who has to kill all of the "on steroid" sized bugs in Mexico in her house and classroom by herself

Simply Sweet Sara

It's been too long since I have posted.... my apologies. I have much to update you on, but this true story can't wait for time. And since it is just a short story, my bedtime can be stretched even further tonight. 

So I am watching three of my students this week FULL TIME. I became an instant mom of 3 girls (ages 5, 7, and 9) last Friday. It started out with the normal bumps- I don't cut the ham in the eggs like there mom does and I refrigerated the milk that they prefer warm (cultural training 101)... There are many other awesomely funny and splendidly enjoyable moments that we have had together thus far that I will share this weekend (promise! See, now I'm accountable to you, and you have to come back and check up on me)!

Ok, ok so the totally sweet moment tonight....

I have loved on Sara for what feels like so long now (which is really just since June when I got the job with B2B and began praying for my students and August 25 when I arrived and September something when I began teaching her in school). And you should know a morsel more about Sara that I have since learned...Sara is one sweet, yet strong individual, whose colors are rarely, if ever shown on the outside. So I have longed to have her love. Tonight, with the privilege of getting to tuck her in to bed I decided to sing her to sleep. The confidence of a six-year-old when asked if they can sing has long since left me. Although every once in awhile I try to put on my big girl pants and "not care anyway", I was a bit hesitant. I sang: 

"I love you Lord, and I lift my voice, to worship You. O my soul rejoice! 

Take joy my King in what You hear let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear." 

And yes, as I sang to Sara I was praying those words to Jesus. The first verse came out confidently, in total adoration of King Jesus. However, by the second verse, moments of doubt slipped in and I sang the words as a prayer "Please Jesus, I can't make eggs the right way, at least let this sound good! I think my 28 year old self would be totally mortified if she negatively commented on my voice." Well, the Lord had mercy on me tonight and every time I would finish Sara would ask shyly (because she didn't know when I would say "we must go to sleep love"), "Teacher, you sing that again please?" 

Here's the pie! (Ice cream, whipped cream cherry, whatever you like best! Here it is...)

After I sang one last time and gently stroked her forehead I said "te quiero" (I love you) and in a soft, still, steady voice her teddy bear brown eyes met mine perfectly and she said "me too." And the curtain fell...

A Few Thoughts, Prayers, and Tangents...

September 24, 2012

O Daddy,

How kind are Your ways. How I delight in Your truth and desire Your will. I pray my eyes be opened- to seeing truth in clouded situations, to foretell a situation, and to be obedient to a future or present direction or calling.

Today I am praying for someone I want to know Jesus Christ as Lord of his life. He has been on my heart and mind like crazy! Maybe it is because he loves one of my sweet girls that I have invested in, but it is also because I think he is an incredible guy and I can only imagine all he is capable of doing for the Kingdom. Lord Jesus in Your mighty name I ask for something so miraculous, so supernatural to happen to this great guy of Yours today, that he cannot deny You and in fact, craves You! Holy Spirit make Yourself known today! For Your glory. (If you are reading this right now, please join me in praying for my friend!)

Kind of all over the place today, but I don’t want to forget this story. Last week, out of know where, Zua (one of my students), got up from her seat and came over and gave me a hug. I’m not sure if she was just tired, if she was up to something, or if she just needed a hug, but I took full advantage of her desire and the fact that I work at a school that allows me to hold, hug, and cuddle my kids if necessary. We listened to a few worship songs together and then I sent her back to her seat to finish her paper. I’m thankful to Jesus that He puts times in my life where I get to hold people…

Unashamedly Yours,

your little one

Food, Fun, and Funnies

September 21, 2012

Dear Papa,

Last night we had dinner at Pastor Renes house. What a testimony to his church that after one meeting with him and his family I can’t wait to go to their church and get more involved! And we didn’t even spend the evening talking about Nuevo Pacto (their church), but rather just sharing stories and jokes. It was a great evening. I haven’t laughed like that in awhile! Thank you Jesus for winning Pastor Rene’s heart with the use of His now wife, Sonya. I want to get to know her more and hear more of her testimony of her life with You.

Thank you Daddy,

your little girl