Moving Day

It has been awhile since I posted so I decided I would just share my journal with you from the past few days, over the next few days. There are run-on sentences and I'm sure other grammatical errors (sorry dad), but it is straight from my journal. This is day 1- "The Move".

August 25, 2012

Dear Papa,

I woke up this morning (or maybe I was never asleep, I’m no longer sure) dreading and fearful of doing this (moving to Mexico) alone.  The consuming thought in my head was “I can’t do this alone.”  And while I quickly called to mind that I am not doing this alone, that You go before me (Deuteronomy 31:8, Psalm 139:5) and I beg you to go with me (If Your Presence does not go with [me], do not [send me to Mexico] -Exodus 33:15), it feels very alone today. It also feels very like going off to college again and while I frequently wish a re-do on those years (with what I know now), I’m not sure I was up for all this!  This is college, but thousands of miles away from my family and loved ones with weekend trips home or darting between friends’ houses unavailable.  It’s a good thing You are who You say You are and that I can do all things through Jesus Christ who gives me strength when I am scared, doubting, fearful, alone, and wanting to run out of the airport screaming for my best friend and boyfriend to take me with them. While I begged not to go today and my best friend begged me not to go ever, I will forsake all else to be obedient to Your call.  And I beg You O King Jesus not to leave me.  Keep me with You in obedience daily.

Forsaking all else,

your little one